Hey, pplz...

Check out my other blog,
wannagrowforgod.blogspot.com to see some pics from my school in Auala, Savaii Samoa
Work and home things are keeping me from getting my thots and stuff out on this thing, but I do promise that it IS coming. :)
Thanks for your patience. Voluntary or not. :)
Jen

Never seen that before...

... have you?
Any of you seen the cartoon, "The Coyote and the Roadrunner"? Remember where, whenever the Roadrunner would start to run, their legs would spin in a circle, kinda like a fan, and they'd spin away in the same place until they "PHEW!".. would take off?
Well, I saw a deer do just that today. I was driving home from some meetings, and coming down the road I saw a nice whitetail buck in the middle of the road, crossing to the other side. *sigh*. you know how deer are, they get blinded by the lights of your car? He was no exception, and he just stood there, blinking stupidly for a few seconds; til I beeped my horn, and then he pulled a "Roadrunner" and spun his hoofs so fast he never moved from where he was standing for a few seconds! It was the funniest thing.. watching him spin his hoofs in an attempt to run fast. It was almost like he was standing on ice!
And that's the funny thing.. he WASN'T on ice. Have you ever seen a deer spin his hoofs on pure asphalt? Road conditions being dry, with no moisture or heat or ice anywhere? Baffled me, for sure....
Well, what can we say... stranger things have happened...

I love this pic...

true blue. Clarity. Awesomeness.
I've been busy updating all my other blogs, Xanga and my "twin blogger", I wanna grow for God..
God's been speaking to my heart lately...
calling me...
beckoning me...
reaching for me...
... and I feel my heart and soul respond to Him... rising from the depths of busyness and harried, rushed life without considering Him, pretending that everything is fine...
before I become someone that I don't like; unfamiliar and strange...
I know my soul is longing after Him, thirsting after Him...
... this is my life quest...
knowing Him.

This is my new truck...

Had a sweet Sunday

My sister had decided to put together a Mom's luncheon this Sunday, since almost all the married guys were gonna be in Ohio at a Men's retreat for the weekend.

Sarah, Marly, Rochelle and Micah had been planning this for 3 weeks.. a lot of organizing and thought went into it. I missed my opportunity, but their first organizational meeting they had was here, and you know how most meetings go, the ones where they're planning, organizing, dictating, appointing, and stuff, they have laptops and speaker phones?

Well in this case, all 4 of them were on their cell phones. Texting the orders. Man, I wanted to laugh so hard, cuz like, they were really appointing people to do all types of stuff via text, and they were getting instant responses, discussing everything from who brings what to how many donations they need. I made dinner, and they didn't take a break; they served themselves up and ate while they worked.

Anyhow, the end result was way amazing.

We had to answer questions like, "What was your most embarrassing moment?" or, "What's your favorite marriage book?"

I think the funniest most embarrassing moment that was said was Tizzy Troyer's, but I ain't gonna say what happened. ha, ha...

So, this is a public "Thank you" to all those who were involved in this special afternoon. I enjoyed myself, and I know others did, too.

And if you wanna see pics, you gonna hafta check out a different website because my camera is my cell phone, and everyone knows that the quality on those pics kinda...

Yeah.

Overwhelmed feelings in writing...

There's a few times as I go thru the week that I think to myself: Am I all that I can be right now? 

Sometimes at the end of a day I look and I see all the things that still need to be done, and I wonder, am I keeping myself from accomplishing my full potential? Not just as an employee, but as a Mom, wife, sister, friend? Every once in a while I feel so incompatible for the tasks that I have in my everyday life, and I am so prone to feel like a failure, even tho I know that's not how I'm supposed to feel. It takes me a long time to get back up on my feet after I mess something up. 

I think back on my life, when I was at home still, working 14 hour days at the greenhouse, coffee shop, splitting wood, herding sheep, cutting grass, I see how much I used work to distract me from how I was doing spiritually. I was the kind that rarely got mad. But when I did, I got TONS of work done. My sister used to tease me, saying that she kinda liked when I would get mad because I would get the work of 4 people done. I used hard work to get my frustrations out of my system. Someone once said, "We're often unhappy because we remember the past being better than it really was, the present more difficult than it should be, the future bleaker than it really is." 

To be honest, my childhood wasn't all that bad. It was my teenage years that were rough. My spirituality was shaped under hard circumstances, but for some reason, God took me out of really bad things and sent me to learn how to completely lean on Him and trust Him without reserve. I no longer had work to lean on to distract me. I actually had to sit still and learn to be quiet. Do you realize how uncomfortable it is to listen to the voices that you've shut up for years? 

But I dealt with them. And after cleaning up my heart and thoughts and life, I re-learned to truly live life as God meant me to. I've always loved to serve. And now I'm serving in ways that I didn't know existed. How could I know that teaching our son to color and recognize numbers is serving a higher purpose? What I didn't know is that God never intended me to stop serving, He merely raised the bar; He raised the level of how I served. When I was at home I shut out so much.. But now I look into Micah's eyes and the strong resolve in me rises up to give him the best that I can. The awesome thing is... God put that in me. The high calling of being the best that I can be for our son and my husband: This is the way that I can fulfill the longing I have to serve. I have potential. 

Thanks, Jesus. 

Well, it's been a long time since I've done anything to even resemble an update, so I decided that I'm gonna update as I go thru-out my day, that way I can get stuff done and still let you all know what's going on in our lives. 

This morning I got up early, thinking I had to get Micah off to the doctors but his appointment isn't until Wednesday. *relief* So, I guess I can be thankful that I got up early to start my day.. 

It's Monday, which means it's time to get back in the groove of things and set the temp for how the rest of the week goes.. I recently decided that I wanna stay home on Mondays, just to get my house in order after the weekend and prepare for another long week. Just makes sense to me, y'know.. :) 

But actually it's not gonna slow down much.. This past weekend was the only one that we had to call our own. This weekend CC's cousin is coming down to visit, and a couple girlfriends of Sarah's will be here, too. Next weekend CC goes to MD to preach, next weekend we go to Ohio for a wedding, next weekend we go to a retreat... the list goes on...

That's what our next several weeks look like... Busy. 

I think in October, CC and a few other guys are gonna make a western trip... to see the sights and hang out to have some well deserved guy time. At first the trip originated because my little brother was going to move out here for several months, but he decided he didn't want to.. AFTER the tickets had been bought. So, instead of the guys being disappointed in not traveling, they're gonna go anyhow, see the sights and visit some old friends. 

I'm not sure how to take my brother not coming out. In some respects, I'm a little hurt, I suppose because the reasons he gave were weak, and some were disrespectful, others were to hide how he really felt. I suppose I should be relieved a little, which I am, but somehow I can't shake the sad feeling that he isn't gonna get better, but worse, and I'm not there to help him out. But as he says, he's an adult now and can make his own decisions (at the age of 18) So he wants to go his own way. *sigh* I guess I wasn't at home either at that age, but I was living with ppl who made a difference in my life and I'll always be indebted to them. So I'll just keep praying for him, that he'll find his way because if he doesn't shape up soon, the world isn't a very kind place to those who walk into it ignorantly, and I'm scared of what he could be. 

Working with kids for the past 9 years in classes, camps, bible schools and just one on one, I get glimpses into their lives and the many horrific thing that they've been thru.

 Some have been neglected. 

Others starved. 

Beaten, left at a store, laughed at, bullied, exposed to drugs, burned, raped, tied up... the sick list goes on. I held a 2 week old baby last night and I thought, "Who would be sick enough to be a child abuser?" She was so little, innocent, pure, helpless..

Maybe that's why ppl take their anger out on kids. Because they're everything the adults are not. 

Pure. Loving. Completely trusting. No hard looks, no judgment. They accept you for who you are. They say a child is the closest thing to God's heart. Maybe for some, it's like looking into the Face of God Himself. They just can't take it. 

So anyhow, those are just a few things that have been running around in my head. Now to continue to update. 

God has blessed us with a new van last month... our poor Tahoe was on it's last leg of life. I kinda miss it, I suppose it's more of the memories I associate with it than anything. But when the door handles are all broken, mpg is 12, check engine light is on, AC doesn't work, back windshield wiper doesn't work, it's probably time to look for something a little more reliable. The Lord took care of us and gave us a 07 Honda Odessy, seats 7 and gets 25 mpg. Now we can go on family trips with our own car! So anyhow, it's nice to be able to have a dependable car again. 

Well, I must get going... I'm starting our son in preschool here, so here come the crayons, papers, scissors, and coloring books! 

Fun times..